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“Beautivul Vs.”

John’s first studio album, “Beautiful Vs.” was released in 2002. It is currently available for free download from this web site.

 

Album Credits:

Music and Lyrics by John Maxfield.

Audio Recording Sessions Engineered and Produced by: Dale Maxfield and Steve Phillips.

JM – Vocals, Guitars, Bass, Piano
Dale Maxfield – Vocals and Piano
Steve Phillips – Bass
Seth Pearson – Drums

Album Recorded Summer-Autumn 2000.
Demos recorded 1996-1999

Music and Lyrics Copyright 1996-1999 John Maxfield, ASCAP. All Rights Reserved.

Lyrics:

01. Quiet
02. I Owe You
03. Come Around
04. Simple Life
05. Burden
06. Innocence is Gone
07. Dream Again
08. Run Away
09. Jane
10. Cry Out
11. Lead Me On
12. Cruel

Quiet

If I may begin for you
The I will slowly sink into my mind
And leave you all behind
If I may appeal to you
And I can make it real to you
Its horrible and true
And unkind
Distant lost and lazy feeling
Smiling eyes and hope concealing
Everything that lies beneath my skin
Tired spent and lazy feeling
Smiling eyes and hope concealing
Everything that hides away within
And there’s hope behind the pain
And the sun will rise above the rain
And I won’t live in vein
And nothing’s right about it
No reason left to doubt it
And the world is quiet
And the wrong will answer to the riot
And I will last the night
And nothing’s right about it
No reason left to doubt it
I listened to you shout it all out loud…
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I Owe You

I want to be the one you’re glad to see you’re glad to run to
I want to be the one you’re glad to know you’re glad to come to
They all believe, they deceive, and so they grieve
They all adore, they ignore, and so they distort
I wish that I was something that you could agree with, strangely
I wish that I was something, anything that mattered, plainly
They all believe, they deceive, and so they grieve
They all adore, they ignore, and so they distort
Oh what do you do?
I think that I got lost
Oh what do you do
When this is not enough?
This is nothing new
I’ve been though this before
This I’ve suffered through
And now I’m back for more
And I owe you nothing
But I owe you everything
And I owe you nothing
But I, but I owe you everything
If I was a mistake I hope that I’m the kind you laugh at
If I was a relief I hope that you never regret that
They all believe, they deceive, and so they grieve
They all adore, they ignore, and so they distort
Oh what do you do?
I think that I got lost
Oh what do you do
When this is not enough?
This is nothing new
I’ve been though this before
This I’ve suffered through
And now I’m back for more
And I owe you nothing
But I owe you everything
And I owe you nothing
But I, but I owe you everything
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Come Around

She says she’ll come around
And I’ve been feeling down
I’m sorry if that makes you upset she says
“I’m so afraid of you
You make me feel confused
I’m sorry if that makes you a wreck,” she says
And then I said,
“Son of a bitch
Where did it go?
And what is this
That we’ve been living for?
I’m such a dick?
You’re such a doll?
So come around
We’ll work it out somehow
We can figure it out
We’ll work it out somehow…”
She calls me and she says
That she has regrets
And says sometimes she feels I’m avoiding her
She says she wants it back
She wants to make a pact
Despite the fact that I’m still annoying her
And then I said,
“Son of a bitch
How did it go
From happiness
To feeling oh so low?
I can’t forget
I can not solve
So this is it
And nothing is resolved
She won’t come around
And every thing’s unsound
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Simple Life

Well alright, okay
I guess we both got nothing to say
I guess we’re both just a bit afraid
I guess we’ve both seen better days
Well okay, alright
I guess we’re both just a bit uptight
I guess that I’ll just take a hike
So you can find your so-called paradise
And I’ll go off to California
And you can lead your simple life
But I won’t be the first to warn ya
I ain’t gonna be alright
No, no- I ain’t gonna be alright
Well alright, okay
I guess we both got nothing to say
And me I’m just ashamed
About you and I and the mess we made
Well okay, alright
I guess we’re both just a bit uptight
I guess we’ll never reunite
But I won’t fall without a fight
No, no- I won’t fall without a fight
And I’ll go off to California
And you can lead your simple life
But I won’t be the first to warn ya
I ain’t gonna be alright
No, no- I ain’t gonna be alright
No, no- I ain’t gonna be alright
No way, bitch
I ain’t gonna be alright
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Burden

Are you an angel or a crooked valentine?
Are you a dream or are you easy to define?
Are you a blessing or a curse? I can’t decide
Are you a feeling that’s impossible to hide?
Am I a coward or a burden on your soul?
Am I afraid of something that I can’t control?
And do I understand or am I just a fool about this all?
And I wish that I could touch you or even look into your eyes
And I wish that I could have you and we could never say goodbye
And I wish that I could tell you or you could catch me by surprise
Do you wait for me?
Do you wait for me?
And do you listen or do you turn away?
And do you hear or understand a word I say?
Do you accept it or do you let it fall astray?
Do I feel sorry for what I have done to you?
Do I feel sorry for seeing myself through?
Do I feel sorry for being clearly true to you?
And I wish that I could touch you or even look into your eyes
And I wish that I could have you and we could never say goodbye
And I wish that I could tell you or you could catch me by surprise
Do you wait for me?
Do you wait for me?
Do you wait for me?
Do you wait for me?
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Innocence Is Gone

Make me a promise
Tell me another lie and
All I have is Jesus and a prayer
Doubt me like Thomas
There’s no need to comply
And evil is the only thing that’s fair
Evil lurks within me and I laugh
Jesus lurks within me and I cry
Suffer and eternity, yeah
First I burn and then I die
This is the hell that I’ve been knowing
Since a pure and tender age
This is the hell that I have witnessed
Only I can’t turn away
This is my life and I’ve been suffering
The years all turn to black
And my innocence is gone
And I don’t even want it back
Pray for forgiveness
Pay for your sins with pain and
All I know is anger and delay
Where do you find bliss
When heaven is far away
Well who believes in heaven anyway?
Evil lurks within me and I laugh
Jesus lurks within me and I cry
Suffer and eternity, yeah
First I burn and then I die
This is the hell that I’ve been knowing
Since a pure and tender age
This is the hell that I have witnessed
Only I can’t turn away
This is my life and I’ve been suffering
The years all turn to black
And my innocence is gone
And I don’t even want it back
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Dream Again

You tried to save me
You tried to make me pure
I don’t know you
I don’t own you
And I’m a little bit unsure
You gave me something
You asked for something else
I don’t know you
I don’t love you
Any more than my self
But if we could dream again
All over again
Dream again
All over and then if you think
You’re life is hard
Try walking in my shoes
In my shoes
In my shoes
In my shoes
You gave me something
You wouldn’t take it back
And now I spend my days and nights just
Trying to get on track
So I stand rejected
And so I loose my mind
But all the envy in the world
Would never make you mine
But if we could dream again
All over again
Dream again
All over and then if you think
You’re life is hard
Try walking in my shoes
In my shoes
In my shoes
In my shoes
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Run Away

Lost in the fog of now or never
Stuck in a dream of yesterday
Here on the brink of forever
Standing up straight and flying away
Still I find you here
Looking so sincere
Still you stay with me
Out of your own greed
There’s no need to
Run away, away, away
No need to run
Away, away, away
No need to run
Away, away, away
No need to run
Away, away, away
And I can’t get over you
No I can’t get over you
And I won’t get over you
And I don’t, no I don’t
Want to
Looking out straight and looking away
Still you strive to be the same
Feeling like they all put you away
Remember when yesterday was today?
Still I find you here
Looking so sincere
Still you stay with me
Out of your own greed
There’s no need to
Run away, away, away
No need to run
Away, away, away
No need to run
Away, away, away
No need to run
Away, away, away
And I can’t get over you
No I can’t get over you
And I won’t get over you
And I don’t, no I don’t
Want to
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Jane

Tell me once and tell me twice but
You’ll get no attention
Tell me wrong and tell me right and
Tell me my intentions
Make me break me throw me away
It’s easier to hide it
Catch the point and go away
‘Cause I know how to fight it
Grew up too fast
Pleasure and paid
A little fucked up
A little insane
Don’t let me stand
Alone in the rain
Hold my hand now
Mother Jane
Truth to tell I’ve been to hell and
Back before I noticed
So I fell no soul to sell
No heart no hands and two fists
Function fails and pain prevails and
Life is getting harder
Look at me and tell me now that
I’m not getting smarter, smarter
Grew up too fast
Pleasure and paid
A little fucked up
A little insane
Don’t let me stand
Alone in the rain
Hold my hand now
Hold my hand now
Hold my hand now
Hold my hand now
Mother Jane
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Cry Out

Beautiful is a state of envy
I want whatever you can give me
Say what you mean and don’t be friendly
Take what you want and never gently
I want to take what’s mine and hold it
I want the world and all that bullshit
And just as sure as patience pains me
Confusion and my delusions make me
Cry out, cry out
Cry out, cry out
Cry out, cry out
Cry out, cry out
I’m in the here and now and nowhere
Here in my bedroom, here in my chair
Give me a hit and I’ll start sinking
Deliver me from the pain of thinking
I’ll never give you my attention
Just let me borrow yours a second
Confessions, depression, hope, and hell lie
I wait ‘til no one can hear me and I
Cry out, cry out
Cry out, cry out
Cry out, cry out
Cry out, cry out
Cry out, cry out
Cry out, cry out
Cry out, cry out
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Cruel

You’re so cruel my darling
You’re so cool my dear
And the point you’re ignoring
Is the truth that you fear
Such a sad pretense
Such a sad joke
You put up your defense
And cut off my rope
Leaving you ain’t easy
Loving you is a crime
So you say you want to see me
And I say you’re blind
Same old lies
Same dumb hope
You give me your heart and cut out my throat
Same old lies
Same dumb hope
You give me your heart and cut out my throat
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Lyrics 1996-1999 John M. Maxfield. Reprinted With Permission.

Date →
Jun 4
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